It’s the end of the world as we know it — maybe. Now that 2012 is here, you’re bound to hear all those theories about how the world will indeed end this year. Heck, there was even a movie made about it.
We don’t claim to know whether Armageddon is in the offing, but we do know there are some ways to tell. If any of the following events take place in the next 12 months, we urge you to run as fast as possible to your nearest fallout shelter. Good luck and don’t say you weren’t warned:
‘Avatar’ has won millions of fans, but the movie’s director, James Cameron, has won a couple of enemies. The Oscar winner has found himself at the center of two separate lawsuits which claim he stole the idea for the movie, which just so happens to be the highest-grossing film in history.
You may have heard that ‘The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1′ had a ridiculously huge opening weekend at the box office. You may not have heard, though, what people were saying as they left the theater after seeing this cinematic masterpiece. Well, we’re here to fill you in on what fans were muttering:
Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher have announced they are divorcing, putting an end to rampant speculation about their relationship. The tabloids have had a field day about the state of their marriage for months, with rumors he cheated on her with several women spreading faster than you can say “Dashton.”
But is that the real reason they’re going their separate ways? We think not. Here’s the real inside scoop on why this Hollywood super-couple has decided to call it quits. Add your reasons in the comments.
Kat Von D claims ex-fiancé Jesse James cheated on her with 19 women. James, of course, cemented his reputation as a cad after details of his serial philandering while married to ex-wife Sandra Bullock came out. While the entire world knows James will stray like a lost cat, we think the ‘Monster Garage’ host is an ideal match for any single woman looking for Mr. Right. Here’s why:
Michelle and Jim Bob Duggar have announced they are expecting their 20th child, due in April. The Arkansas couple and stars of TLC’s ’19 Kids and Counting,’ clearly love children, so while they busy themselves sprucing up their nursery yet again, we thought we’d honor their 20th bundle of joy with — what else? — 20 jokes about having such a large family.
While the ‘Mean Girls’ star has been sentenced to 30 days, officials expect she’ll most likely serve six. Lohan has to turn herself to begin serving her stint in the slammer by November 9, so while she preps for her return, we thought we’d help look at the lighter side with these jokes:
After weeks of speculation, Jessica Simpson has announced she is pregnant. It’ll be the first child for the singer/actress/designer/former reality star and her fiancé, former pro football player Eric Johnson. In lieu of sending them a gift to help them decorate their nursery, we decided to give them the gift of laughter.
So, has the shock of Kim Kardashian divorcing Kris Humphries after 72 days of wedded bliss worn off yet? Good thing the news broke on Halloween because we were so depressed, we needed to drown our sorrows in bucketfuls of fun size Milky Ways.
Like many a divorcee, though, we will soldier on. Let’s start the healing process with 14 jokes about Kim and Kris’ marriage.
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