Stupid Criminal

While the Amish completely reject most technologies, like the automobile, they apparently aren’t dead set against cellphone use. In fact, Amish man Willard Yoder used his cellphone to send 600 sexually charged text messages to a 12-year-old girl.

Last week, James Verone walked into an RBC bank –sans gun – with a robbery plan. However, unlike most bank robbers, his plan did not involve walking out with loads of cash. Instead, the 59-year-old North Carolina man actually wanted to be arrested so he’d have access to prison healthcare provided by the government.

When Stephen McDow discovered there was an extra $110,000 from the IRS in his checking account, it was probably one of the best days of his life. Unfortunately, the money wasn’t for him.

For his 58th birthday, Florida resident James Taylor (no relation to the singer) drank 48 beers. Or at least that’s what he told the cops when they arrested him last week for causing a disturbance at Florida’s Hudson Beach.

There’s a reason men don’t like to ask for help. A prisoner who escaped from the Olympic Corrections Center in Washington State was captured Wednesday after he knocked on the door of a resort cabin in the woods, only to find out a guard who works at the facility was renting it.

It takes money to make money. That old adage applies even to those on the wrong side of the law. A robber in Fort Lauderdale, Florida had to buy a pack of gum in order to get a cash register to open when he tried to hold up a discount store earlier this month.

A 21-year-old Portland, Oregon man who relieved himself in the Mt. Tabor reservoir last Wednesday may face serious criminal charges. The reservoir is one of the city’s main sources of drinking water and, since the water’s now contaminated, officials insist that 7.8 million gallons must be dumped.