Contact Us

Top 16 (funny) Things We Know About Pope Francis

The Conclave Of Cardinals Have Elected A New Pope To Lead The World's Catholics
Pope Francis I (Peter Macdiarmid/Getty Image)

Yesterday, the white smoke rose and Cardinal Jorge Mario Bergoglio of Argentina was elected as the new pope. He is the first pope from the Americas and was elected as the 266th Pontiff and will lead the world’s 1.2 billion Catholics.

Check out what we discovered about the new Holy Father with the top 16 things we know about Pope Francis:

1. His last name rhymes with “gigolo.”  And if you laughed at that, congratulations, you’re going to HELL!

2. He’s lived a clean, chaste life.  But since he’s South American, odds are he has a cousin who sold you weed.

3. He has a huge head.  Which will make his hat look normal-sized.

4. At 76, he adds some much-needed youth and spirit to The Vatican.

5. He’s now the world’s second most powerful virgin, behind Tim Tebow.

6. He’s so humble that he almost cancels out Kanye West.  Almost.

7. He’s the first thing to come from South America that doesn’t lie since Shakira’s hips.

8. Even though he’s the ultimate authority to 1.2 billion people, he still wouldn’t dare do something as presumptuous as telling them how much soda they can drink.

9. Unlike Pope Benedict, he bears no resemblance to a “Star Wars” emperor.

10. During the conclave, he was cracking the cardinals up by hilariously saying, “No pope for you!” in the Soup Nazi voice.

11. He’s the only person in South America who never wore a thong to the beach.

12. Sundays are for mass.  Saturdays are for “Sabado Gigante”!

13. His first pardon will be to forgive Madonna for “Evita”.

14. He insists that his private bathroom have pope-pouri.

15. He’s a size 7 in giant pope hats.

16. He still has that New Pope smell.

Best of KLAW 101

Recommended For You

Best of the Web

Leave a Comment

It appears that you already have an account created within our VIP network of sites on . To keep your personal information safe, we need to verify that it's really you. To activate your account, please confirm your password. When you have confirmed your password, you will be able to log in through Facebook on both sites.

Forgot your password?

*Please note that your prizes and activities will not be shared between programs within our VIP network.

It appears that you already have an account on this site associated with . To connect your existing account just click on the account activation button below. You will maintain your existing VIP profile. After you do this, you will be able to always log in to using your original account information.

*Please note that your prizes and activities will not be shared between programs within our VIP network.

Please fill out the information below to help us provide you a better experience.

(Forgot your password?)

Not a member? Sign up here

Sign up for KLUB KLAW quickly by connecting your Facebook account. It's just as secure and no password to remember!

Sign up to have exclusive KLUB KLAW contests, events, coupons, presales, and much more delivered to you for FREE.