Carving Pumpkins With Guns

Every year we tend to just go through the motions around the holidays. October always starts out strong with endless playlists of spooky movies and horror-themed activities, but by this time, just days before Halloween, most people are already over it. If you're already holiday burned out, you just need to change it up a little to get back in the spirit.

Carving pumpkins is that classic family activity that almost always ends up in a big ole mess for mom and dad to clean up, so instead of dirtying up the kitchen, find yourself a big open piece of private land and load for bear. We're carving pumpkins with guns.

I'll admit, carving pumpkins with guns is way more fun than it seems. It might seem like you're just hunting vegan-style, but there's a challenge to it that most can't assimilate to. It takes a steady hand to produce good results.

Here are some pro-tips:

Smaller calibers make for the prettiest pumpkins. While it's fun to release the kraken with the double-ought buckshot right out of the gate, your pumpkin may look great from the front, but there's a guaranteed lack of structure on the back to keep it all together. You blow out the back and you've just made big pieces for the Tannerite pile.

Longer barrels make for great detail work. The humble 22lr rifle might be the greatest pumpkin carving firearm of all time. It's cheap to shoot, there's hardly any measurable recoil, and it's the firearm you and the fam can shoot all day without fatigue.

Yes, you're gonna have to send a ton of those little shots downrange to create a pumpkin worthy of display, but it's worth it in the end.

If you're a great shot, feel free to try your hand with the centerfire pistol calibers. It's incredibly hard to carve a pumpkin off-hand without it looking like The Gooney's Sloth, but those that can do, and those that can't still have a good time.

"But I don't have access to private land!"

Call around. Of the few outdoor ranges in the area, one is sure to let spread pumpkin spice around the area. If they're not that cool, that ain't the place you'd want to go anyway.

When you get done, and you've got a ton of scraps, ask about letting loose some Tannerite. It's a fun way to end with a boom.

Of course, none of this advice matters if you're not versed well in the simple rules of firearm safety. In such a case, if you still want to carve pumpkins the cool way, ask for help from someone who can ensure a safe and fun experience for your group.