As you know, I don't like to cook. It's not that I CAN'T cook I just don't LIKE to cook. There are so many other things I would rather spend my time on then cooking. So, with that said, here is how you could trick your family into thinking you actually cooked Christmas Dinner. (Sarcasm: This method has not been tested and proven so proceed at your own risk.)

  • Call a Caterer

    Call the Caterer in advance and order your Christmas dinner delivered. Just make sure it’s being delivered during a time when the family won’t be around to see the delivery truck.

  • Now, how do you get the family out of the house…..

    1. Send them out on a scavenger hunt (make sure the items are hard to find so you’ll have plenty of time).
    2. Tell them you would love it if they would go into the woods and cut down a fresh Christmas tree.
    3. Send them out caroling in the neighborhood
    4. Tell them that the tradition for your family was everyone but your Mom would go bowling for the day.
  • OK, now that you have the house to yourself for a couple hours...

    1. Get the wine out of the refrigerator that you have been chilling all day.
    2. Light a candle that smells like pine and gingerbread.
    3. Run a bath and fill it with your favorite bath oils.
    4. Relax and drink a couple glasses of wine.
  • When the caterer shows up

    1. Get all the food out of the “to go” containers and put them in your best holiday china,
    2. Stash all the boxes into a garbage bag and take it immediately out to the trash
  • Make yourself "presentable"...

    1. Sprinkle some dried bread crumbs around on the counter; spill some of the gravy on the stove
    2. Put some clean pots and pans in the drying rack so it looks like you cleaned up while you were preparing the meal.
    3. Smear some pumpkin pie filling on an apron and put it on
    4. mess your hair up a bit and
    5. sprinkle some water on your face (it will look like sweat).
  • Family arrives back home

    1. They are in total awe of how nice the dining room table looks with the candles and fine china and how good the house smells with all of the cooking and baking you’ve been doing while they are gone. 7.
    2. You blush and giggle and tell them “Oh, thank you! Really, it was nothing! I did it because I just love you so much!”

    Big SMILE!

    Sit down and enjoy the meal you worked so hard to prepare.

  • After dinner....

    The family will offer to do all the dishes because you worked so hard while they were out playing!


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