The Fourth of July is the quintessential grilling holiday. While you might argue Memorial Day or Labor Day deserves that top spot, pipe down while grown ups are talking. On average, you're taking advantage of the longest holiday of the year. It's starts bright and early just after 6AM, at which point you should already be on the lake with lines in the water... While I would commend you for aiming to catch your lunch, I would remind you that this is America. Burgers are on the menu for lunch, steak for dinner. No exceptions.

I'm pretty sure I'd eat anything Gordon Ramsay would cook, but these are just some delicious looking sad British burgers. Like a good burger to eat when celebrating your counties defeat.

Since we're talking burgers, don't be the guy that buys the pre-made frozen patties expecting to get flavor out of a little seasoned salt. That burger may fly most of the year, but on the Fourth, it's just laziness. Get yourself some proper ground chuck and one fatty ribeye. You'll want to chop that ribeye up with the biggest chopping knife you've got. Believe me, it's work, but worth it. You're going to mix all of that meat together, and spice your beef before you make the patties yourself. Yes, you can use a burger press if you don't want to get your nails dirty, but honestly, nut up.

Pro-Tip: Make the middle of you patties thinner so when they plump up on the heat, they don't turn into sad little oblong balls.

You really only need two spices... Salt and pepper. But I like to toss in some chili flakes, little onion, lots of garlic, and a solid dusting of cayenne just to keep me honest, but the idea of putting butter in the meat is pretty interesting.

Pro-Tip: Wear cotton gloves under your latex gloves to keep your hands from freezing while you mix all this up.

Make your patties, pop 'em on a hot charcoal grill, toss in some apple and mesquite chips and you're off on a tasty journey that nobody expected you to pull off. Bonus points if you toast your buns, with butter on that same smokey grill. It's OK if you only have a gas grill, just put your wood chips in some tin foil and let it do its thing... but if you have a real grill, charcoal briquets ain't gonna cut it. You invest in some natural lump charcoal, and learn to light it without fluid.

You have a few days, make a plan, stick to it. Merica.